Love is . . .

Some, most, a few may know that Carroll was actually a natural blonde. It wasn’t a classified government secret or anything, but she was sure to never let the roots get too far out. I only saw her for a few months as a blonde in our entire ten years together. She said that it made her look washed out with her pale skin, and no amount of sun was going to darken that skin. She tried.

Growing up, I always seemed to gravitate towards blondes but somewhere out there I started dating red heads. Don’t know when, but there came a time when I could start going back over past girlfriends and there was a pattern. I never actually went out looking and said, “yep, I’m only gonna date reds!” It just happened that way. I guess, in a way, I got the girl that could meet both requirements.

Needless to say, I shed a tear for my lost Carroll when I made the mistake of checking my Facebook during lunch and found this. It’s okay. I’m smiling now.

Lilly Chooses Her First Tat

Most people may not know that Carroll had a tattoo. She tells of how she tried to keep it from her father, but somehow it slipped out and the next time she called her mother, Jim, her father who was a tried-and-true upstanding Prior Marine American Dad, yells in the background, “what’s this about a tattoo?!?”

It was nothing major, by today’s standards it was a little tame. Just a celtic knot design made of cats in green ink. I don’t ever remember her saying anything about except that she liked the design like she liked cats. If anyone knows anything different, please tell me. But, she had it put on her shoulder and you could see it only if she wore spaghetti straps or tank top, which she only wore around the house.

Except for our wedding day. She thought about hiding it, but we agreed that that was not who she was, so proudly display it. Jim would make a comment or two, but he knew that if this was the worse that Carroll would ever do, then he was a winner for sure.

Fast forward to now. Lilly and I are eating pizza and watching TV. She’s really not into WRECK-IT RALPH, though it is the one they were watching at school and the one that she requested. She’ll watch WINNIE THE POOH until my stomach hurts, but that seems to be the only one she likes. So, while I’m trying to get my money’s worth, she is playing with a pack of stickers that she got over the holidays. One of them turned out to be a temporary tattoo of HELLO KITTY. Let’s just say that I, and several family members and friends, have purchased stock in this franchise by buying for Christmas and her birthday. What’s really funny is how she recognized it as a tattoo. Man, they start young. But what happened next and brought a tear to my eye was when she jumped up in my lap and asked me to help her put it on her. “Well, where do you want Daddy to put it, Lilly Bug?”

She reaches back over her right shoulder with her left hand and pats the spot, “right here, Daddy.” Exactly where Mama had her tattoo.

National Brain Tumor Society 5K 2013 Set for November 9, 2013

February 13th, 2013 was the day that we gathered and remembered the amazing woman, wife, and mother that was Carroll. I delivered her eulogy with minimal tears, how, I don’t know, and at the end, I issued a call to crowd. To most honor Carroll, go forth and give of yourself unto others. That is how best to remember her, by emulating her caring spirit. And to give them a starting point, I asked everyone present to come join us at the next Dallas-Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk.

The date has been set on the National Brain Tumor Society site, but the link for the walk has not gone live yet. It probably will not for another month or two, but in the meantime, you can mark your calendars for November 9th, 2013. It will be a Saturday and will start about 7:00 A.M. I can’t expect everyone to make it, but I can hope that we will have a great turnout and we can show people what Kiwi was all about!

I will continue to post the important stuff here for those that don’t have Facebook, but those that do can keep up with the Walk info at A Walk With Kiwi. Come join us!

Breakfast

Just got back from dropping Lilly off at school and made mine & Carroll's usual morning run. Caught myself before I ordered one for her. She always got the breakfast on a bun with sausage. And no egg. I never understood that, but that's what made me love my wife. Those little things like a breakfast sandwich without the "breakfast" on it. lol I miss her bunches.

The Obituary of Carroll Elizabeth Benjamin Pickering

The obituary as it should have run in the Dallas Morning News, if I had wanted to pay $725. I love my wife and her memory, but that money will go somewhere else to better honor her.

Carroll Elizabeth Benjamin Pickering, 40, left behind the pain of stage IV brain cancer that had plagued her for over two years February 3, 2013. She passed away in the comfort of her home in Dallas with family by her side. She was born May 10, 1972 in Houston, Texas.

She is preceded in death by her father, James H. Benjamin. Surviving family members are her husband, James, and daughter, Lillian, mother, Marie Bagert, and siblings Annie Irwin, Katy Benjamin, Margaret Benjamin, and Hank Benjamin. 

She was employed by Neiman Marcus for twelve years as a financial coordinator. She enjoyed traveling with her family and friends and had just completed a trip to the Hill Country and northeastern Georgia with her husband and daughter. She was an avid reader, including bedtime stories to her daughter. She loved making jewelry, cooking and baking, especially around the holidays. She actively participated the last two years of the National Brain Tumor 5K walk with the love and support of family and friends.

A memorial service will be held at 2:00 pm, Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at Sparkman/Hillcrest Northwest Highway Chapel. The family asks, that in lieu of flowers, make a donation in Carroll's name to the National Brain Tumor Society (www.braintumor.org) or to a charity that is close to your heart.

Lindy Bullock-Cox Remembered

When Carroll first got diagnosed and we started doing radiation and chemos, I found a flyer on the wall of Dr. Karen Fink's office for the National Brain Tumor Society 5K Walk and decided to join her team, Fink's Fighters. The next year, I went solo and formed up a team for Carroll called Team Kiwi, Kiwi being her nickname. For three years, my performance was compared to the leader of fund-raising and the person to beat every year. That person was Lindy Bullock-Cox. Lindy passed away three days after Carroll.

I don't know Lindy's story, for even though I watched her dollar amounts leave mine behind in the dust, I never got a chance to meet and talk to her. In fact, for the first time last September, I actually got a chance to see what she looked like.

I do know that Lindy, as well as my wife, was a fighter and will be greatly missed by her family and friends. Take time to remember Lindy and, if possible, leave a donation at www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/teamlindylou.

Tribute Page

Over the last few days, I have been overwhelmed at the outpouring of love for my wife. Actually, no, I'm not. She was an amazing woman who faced down a disease and stared it in the eye when it came time to go. She was always more worried about those around her than herself and that was the truth until the end.

We have set a time and place for remembering Carroll. This is the link to the tribute page at Sparkman-Hillcrest.

Carroll will be cremated and we will have a memorial service at Sparkman-Hillcrest Funeral Home on North West Highway in Dallas. It is Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at 2:00 PM. We tried to pick it far enough down the calendar that people could make travel arrangements and somewhere in the day that they not have to deal with morning or evening traffic. There will be no graveside ceremony, but a marker will be placed beside her father's grave and Lilly and I will retain the ashes.

Carroll and I had discussed briefly back in December how she wanted things to go when she passed and we've tried to keep that promise. One of the things was that she wanted her life celebrated and not a lot of boo-hooing. I do the former daily, but cannot promise the second. In trying to keep with her wishes, I ask that everyone bring with them to the memorial, a favorite story that they have of Carroll and share it with me or, if you wish, with the ones that she loved and loved her. If you cannot make it, I will create a memorial page where she can be remembered and you can leave your stories and comments. I may contact you to ask for permission to read some of these at the ceremony.

There will be a get-together after the memorial, but we are wrapping up details on this as we speak, so stay tuned for more info, including the memorial page.

Again, thank you for loving her as I have.